Secret #02: Tolak

let me share a secret.

aku adalah first time mommy (tak, ini bukan secretnya) selepas TTC 2thn lebey (ok, ini juga bukan secretnya). jadi, bila hamza lahir, byk menda yg kene belajar sbb tak tahu. jadual hidup berubah2 mengikut peel hamza. takda lagik me-time. tidur malam pun tak menentu. mata lebam cam panda jgn kata la kan time pantang dlu.

being first time mommy, sume menda yg kecik akan jadik besar. hamza kene gigit nyamuk, berkoyan2 bedak dan minyak aku sapu. hamza merengek2, semalaman aku tak tido. semua benda serba tak kena bila berkaitan dgn hamza. itu takbole, ini tak bole. itu jgn, ini jgn. dan deep down, aku akui, ini pun penangan lambat dapat hamza, makanya overprotective tu lebey sikit.

dlm byk2, yg paling aku risau ialah Infant Sudden Death Syndrome (SIDS)

penah dgr?

As the name implies, SIDS is the sudden and unexplained death of an infant who is younger than 1 year old. It's a frightening prospect because it can strike without warning, usually in seemingly healthy babies. Most SIDS deaths are associated with sleep (hence the common reference to "crib death") and infants who die of SIDS show no signs of suffering.

While most conditions or diseases usually are diagnosed by the presence of specific symptoms, most SIDS diagnoses come only after all other possible causes of death have been ruled out through a review of the infant's medical history, sleeping environment, and autopsy. This review helps distinguish true SIDS deaths from those resulting from accidents, abuse, and previously undiagnosed conditions, such as cardiac or metabolic disorders.

When considering which babies could be most at risk, no single risk factor is likely to be sufficient to cause a SIDS death. Rather, several risk factors combined may contribute to cause an at-risk infant to die of SIDS.

Most deaths due to SIDS occur between 2 and 4 months of age, and incidence increases during cold weather. African-American infants are twice as likely and Native American infants are about three times more likely to die of SIDS than caucasian infants. More boys than girls fall victim to SIDS.

Other potential risk factors include:

• smoking, drinking, or drug use during pregnancy
• poor prenatal care
• prematurity or low birth weight
• mothers younger than 20
• tobacco smoke exposure following birth
• overheating from excessive sleepwear and bedding
• stomach sleeping

source: here

jdi, setiap kali hamza tidur, aku sgt takut. setiap kali hamza tido tak bergerak2, aku letak tgn dekat hidung dia nk rasa nafas dia, atau pun pandang tak berkelip tgk die bernafas ke tidak. cium ke ape ke yg penting aku nk tgk die bergerak. kirenya aku akan makesure die bergerak br aku buat keje lain.

malam2 kalau hamzaz tidur nyenyak sgt, cium pipi pun die tak gerak, aku akan tolak badan dia sampai die buat bunyi, br aku akan tido balik.

melampau kan?

tade sape tau aku berperasaan cam ni. tade sape, termasuklah laki aku. dan aku tak pernah berniat nk cite kat sesape pun, tambah2 plak nk tulis kat blog. tp incident pagi tadik, buat aku rasa nk cite gak.

pagi tadik, abg dah bersiap2 nk pegi keje, so die cium pipi hamza sblm pegi keje. hamza wat tatau je. bergerak tidak bersuara pun tidak. abg cium lagik. still takde respon. selamba abg tolak badan hamza smp hamza berbunyi. lepas dgr hamza mengeluh dan bergerak, br abg bgn dari katil. *abg tak perasan aku pandang je ape die buat*

dan dalam ati, owhhh, laki aku pun same sbaner cam aku. bukan aku sowang je la yg pelik dan overprotective. mmg sepadan kami kan?

hahahah