Eh, lekat lagi ke?

berdesing je telinga aku dengar ayat ni.

apa susah sgt ke nk sebut elok2 pun macam

eh, pregnant ke?
eh, hamza nk dpt adek ke?
eh, ada org baru ke?
eh, berita gembira ke?
eh? eh? eh?

takde la bukan apa, bahasa tu mencerminkan jati diri apa. dah kalo tu yg terkeluar dari mulut, agak2 camna la tanggapan orang kat yg bercakap tu?

erm, seb bek aku tak dgr direct, dengar dari mulut laki aku je sbb die yg dengar.

dan seb bek laki aku cool je. selamba kata

"nnti lagik 2minggu baru bagi tau"

hahahhahah

Halal dan Haram

Halal atau haram status anak ini, ianya adalah urusan & milik Allah — dan juga ia’nya perkara dalaman keluarga kami,” kata Norish Karman. (RotiKaya)

ok, mood tak best sbb pompuan ni asik sebut pasal status anak dia halal atau haram. seriously, stop giving stupid statement camni, sbb bile kau sbg emak ckp camni, org akan makin makin pertikaikan status anak kau. dan confirm makin byk andaian buruk dibuat. 

tak kesah la apa status dia, dia lahir seputih warna tanpa cacat cela. i mean come on, tak kesian ke kat anak kau org dok pertikai status dia sbb statement bodoh camni? tak kesah la betul atau tidak, tp Diam lebih bijak. so tat takde la media putarbelit.

imagine die dah besar dan faham, dan baca sume ni. tak kesian ke? salah dia ke semua tu? mana dia tahu apa status dia.


ok, aku tak cop mahupun terus katakan yg dia haram. tak. aku tatau. mmg, itu antara norish karman dan Allah, tp sebagai pemerhati dan jugak ibu, aku nk stresskan yg anak tu tak salah. tak berdosa, tatau mende.

ko imagine ye die dah besar dan baca article ni, confirm die akan tanya kan. dan masuk skolah, agak2 kawan dia tanya tak? stupid la emak camni. kekonon abes hebat la nk bgtau tu urusan Allah. kalo betul itu urusan Allah, kenapa perlu kau warwarkan kepada satu dunia. kau pk tak yg statement bodoh kau ni bole timbulkan fitnah?

bongok.

kurang bijak.

ok tarik balik, langsung tak bijak.

makanya jatuh taraf bodoh!

 aku langsung tak kesian kat norish sbb jadik buruan media. tp aku kesian kat anak dia.

berita penuh kat sini 

Kuning

dia: agak2 kau, anak kau kene kuning ke tak?

aku: errr. mane nk tau, tp kalo bole mmg la tanak.

dia: aku rasa kene.

aku: errr? asal plak?

dia: sbb ko suke makan tu (sambil tunjuk kat jajan aku)

aku: errr?

dia: dulu time aku pregnant, aku tak usik mende2 nih. sbb tu anak aku tak kuning. tp kau asik makan bende ni, confirm anak ko kuning. kesian baby.

aku: errrr?

dia: tgk macam anak ****, kan kene tinggal hospital sbb kuning, sbb die suke makan cam ko makan ni la.

aku: errr. doc kate takpe. asal jgn makan banyak.

dia: kesian la kat baby. *sambil pandang muke aku dgn penuh slack*

aku: errr (dlm hati, anak aku, takkan aku tak kesian, takkan aku nk doakan yg buruk2. setau aku gynea aku slalu pesan doakan yg terbaek utk anak dan sebagai mummy, itula yg aku buat!)


ok, aku tatau hormon atau apa, yg aku tau, hati aku mudah tersentuh sekarang.

ada kajian eh kalo mummy suke makan jajan, anak akan WAJIB kene kuning?

Stating instead of Telling

i never post anything related to pregnancy at facebook nor twitter, except at my blogs (itu pun dekat blog ttc, when i come clean with the pregnancy & of course this blog, as it is created for my pregnancy journey.) my personal blog about my daily life, nah, mmg tak pernah nk tulis pasal pregnancy. so, many of my friends did not know about the pregnancy.

only those who are close with me know that we're pregnant.(even my besties pun tatau, unless they asked. utk saje2 bgtau, mmg tidak)

and we are happy with it.

as we used to be in TTC circle, that we know pregnancy status is kinda annoying. (hehh, utk aku la)

i seldomly commented on pregnancy related status nor ultrasound picture, so when i did commented on one of my friend's ultrasound picture (bunting pelamin), it might be weird for some, even for the expecting friend herself.

and when the comments are about 2D and 4D ultrasound, it became much weirder and in the end, the expecting friends reply by saying thanks and that she pray that its my turn next so that our babies shall be born in the same year.

(ok, ttibe aku rasa cam aku besarkan2 hal yg kecil. duhh. patut aku buat bodo je kan)

well, i reply by saying, thanks. but then i pm her and stating (ok, stating, bukan telling. and i felt like a bitch for it) im expecting as well. 7bulan sudah. =D

and she was like, owh, sorry, i didnt know. and everthing become awkward.


ok, pk pk balik. cam bodoh kan. baik aku diam2 je. tp tatau, sedikit terasa bila org comment cam tu, and terus langgar prinsip utk tidak memberitahu unless mereka tanya, dengan memberitahu terus. isk isk iskkk..

and i felt bad.

should i felt bad or should i simply forget about it?

tah.

i felt bad because i felt like a bitch for rubbing in her face that i am 7month pregnant but on the second thought, nahhh, im quite hurt with the comment.

ok, aku dah merapu. en suami kate, lupakan. jgn pk pasal org.

ye ke?

Dear Allah SWT,

i pray hard that i wont be one of those people who are obsessed with their own child and being unthoughtful towards others.

aminn

Just Because

just realize something.

i went for monthly check ups at 3 different clinic.


1. IIUM Health Centre. - just simply because they said i need to have buku merah and to simplify the process of getting GL for my delivery.

2. Klinik Kesihatan Gombak Setia - just simply because my sister said that buku merah uia tak lengkap. see the details here.

3. Klinik Pakar Wanita Medina- just simply because i believe in the doc and that they have my records since the ectopic incident and all my TTC record.

talk about paranoia!

and when people ask me why, i simply answer, just because.

ps: people whom conceived easily seldom gets the paranoid feelings. or i assume so.

well

not feeling well. 

not thinking well.

so unwell

So & Stop

being pregnant, people always asked me how do i deal with my morning sickness and all. some do show empathy, while some simply judge me.

for those you judge me, this entry are dedicated to you.

yes, i know some of you did not undergo morning sickness like me. good for you then, but please, stop judging me.

so i still felt nausea eventhough ive reach 2nd trimester. its not like i throw up at you.

so i have to take lots of medications. not that i wanted to, but they are prescribe by the doctor. gynea. so i do have to take it despite what ever you said or told about your previous pregnancy.
yes, you also have complications during your pregnancy, but your doctor did not prescribe those medication, maybe because our condition arent the same. so stop telling me not to taking my medications.

so my belly hurts. sometimes so much that i can barely stand it. so during your pregnancy, u have worst morning sickness ever, but did your belly hurts like mine? in fact, do you know what kind of pain i really felt actually?
yes, they said during 2nd trimester, no more morning sickness or belly pain. but i still felt it. not that i fake it. it happens. things happens. maybe this is my fate. this is my pregnancy journey. so stop comparing me with yourself.

stop looking weird at me as you see me rubbing my belly. no, im not trying to tell the whole world that i am pregnant. my belly hurts, i dont know why and what cause it, but rubbing it soothes the pain.

so i cant stand for a long time, let alone walk far. it's true that i'm simply cant. not that i used pregnancy as reasons not to do my job. i still do my job, it just that i need time to gather my strengths and thoughts. but hey, everything still finished within the stipulated time. so y bother?

so my belly did not really shows. so what? the most important thing is that our lil baby is growing healthy according to doctor.

so i ate sweet food. as i could only swallow sweet foods. i have to really aviod oily food. yes, sweet food can lead to diabetes. but the doc said, eat whatever you can. as long as you eat. hey, i still lost weight. and to tell you the truth, i am scared. pregnancy should gain weight, not lost weight. hence the sweet food.

stop telling me to move around so that my lil baby wont be that lazy after being born. im not faking the tiredness. i am really tired. and no, i am not stingy. im being extra careful about my money. last month only, the check up and hospitals bill cost me around 1k. please be considerate.

stop telling me to go to government hospital to reduce the cost. my medical history are with the doctors and we are comfortable with her. yes i know it is a lot of money going for private, but i believe our lil baby deserve the best. duit boleh carik... anak susah nk carik

so can barely cook eversince i get pregnant. my hubby gets it. he understand. y dont u?

try living with me for a day. then you shall know my condition. my lil sister, who used to compare me with my older sister, lived with me for 2 days and she completely shut up when she sees how bad my conditions are. i could throw up anytime and most of the time, i spent lying down. and amazingly, she did the household works for me as i could barely moved. nice!

or, try swapping life with me for a day. then you shall know what kind of belly pain im having, the nausea, the tiredness and all. sanggup?

but for those who are really understand my situation. i am so thankful. may Allah bless you.

Heart Rants #01

ive read somewhere (i forgot where) that pregnant lady are twisted (blame the hormones ya) in which they could cry at stupid romantic movie, or sometimes cry looking at cats (ok, ni mcm ridiculous, but true). and that they could easily cry when they felt unwanted or neglected.

as for me, i did cried watching stupid romantic movie (the tears come out of nowhere. seriously!) and did cried when my husband neglected me. but crying for just looking at cats? ermmm, belum lagik kot??

honestly, we are in a middle of 'perang dingin'. i am not talking to him. as i felt that he neglected me and did not care enough for me. and that i & baby come second after his family. (some might think that i am making a big thing out of nothing, but hey, i blame the hormones again :D).

kadang-kadang mmg susah nk baca apa dalam hati lelaki. mcm mana mereka rasa sgt susah nk baca hati wanita jugak. being pregnant, u will be super duper needy (ok, bukan la nk cuddling or whatsoever, but needy of ur husband being with you. duduk sebelah doing nothing pun takpe. and needy when it comes to throwing up. aku perlukan en suami utk menepuk belakang aku semasa muntah).

and it is hard when his family did not see/care about your needs. bukan nk husband ada ngn kita 24/7. but i do need him during the night where the morning-evening sickness are at the peak. so sila la faham, dan jgn la bebankan dgn mende2 remeh seperti,

"** takda baju, abg bagi la baju2 keja abg kat dia. tak pun beli baru utk dia" - what? do u know how to read the calendar? sekarang tgh bulan. dan amboi, kalo kate sume baju2 keje abg isteri terchenta yg beli, agak2 sanggup ke isteri terchenta tgk baju tu tersarung kat badan org lain?

or

"tolong topupkan, sbb kat sini takde kedai. kredit dah nk abis nih" - seriously? do u think we sell prepaid here in our house? yg mana ko bole order2 je. dah berkali2. aku takde kredit pun tak suh laki aku topupkan?

or

"aku bosan, hantar gitar hg esok kat aku ?" - ko igt putrajaya ngn wangsa maju 5minit? weekdays plak tu? faham erti heavy traffic tak? dushhhhhhhh

ok, im being a cranky bitch again. and it's obviously not good for the baby.

lets stop here. for now